Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Quit!

I Quit!, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

I have decided, with the help of my wife, to give up on photography. I have been struggling for the last couple of years to gain some momentum and actually start making money with this so called hobby. But alas it does take money to make money and I don't have the money to invest.

I don't have a huge ego, but I do know that some of my work could be sold as fine art, but it isn't meant to be apparently.

As of last winter my business partnership for a Stock Photography business failed... I take a lot of the blame for the failure and rightfully so. After that I decided to focus on my passion, which is fine art photography, but alas I have absolutely no support anywhere moving forward, partially because of the previous failure and because of the need for a more capable camera.

The simple fact is that after two years of trying to earn even a single dollar, I have failed to do so. I have invested several thousands of dollars in hardware, substandard hardware at best and more than 2000 hours of time and energy developing websites, blogs and even some business partnerships.

The end result is, I have sold a few prints to friends and acquaintences, but at they were sold at cost of printing so no profit. Now my wife has no faith that I can make a profit with this business and therefore refuses to invest any more. I can't blame her for feeling this way... there are things that she wants to do as well. She wants to have money for vacations, and other joys in life... but for me this is just a lack of vision... she can't see what I see and have failed time and again to show her the vision because I can't clearly communicate it, even though I can see it.

Add to all of this that my camera took a fall on a tripod while I was teaching an HDR workshop, and now my camera has several issues (a cracked body near the hot shoe, no flash (attached or external) and the focus really doesn't even work at all as it is always soft.

I am frustrated with my Olympus POS (Piece Of Shit), it has always had soft focus, but now with the additional problems from the fall and after the fall it is all but useless. I am now looking at needing to get into a Pro Level body (Canon 7D), but alas my wife has made it crystal clear that I won't be buying another camera for a long time, if ever. Now while it is commonly said that it is not the camera, but the photographer that makes the image, the pro-level body gives me the tools (advanced ISO, advanced shutter speed, sharp focus, etc) I need to be able to take the photos that I know I can.

Since my continued work requires me to acquire a new and my wife refuses to invest any more in a business proposition that has yet to yield any monetary returns and she believes will not , I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. So I need to give up my dream, no my achievable dream otherwise it could cause a huge rift in my marriage.

This business thing has always been sore spot between my wife and I and probably always will be... so it is time....

It is time to pack what working equipment up I have, sell it for what I can get for it and stop any further fruitless dreaming and throw in the towel.

This is not a pity party, although, I know it sounds like it, but rather I am venting the realism that this is simply another addition to the list of failures I have accumulated over the years. I am forty years old and am a failed photographer, artist and crushed human being right now.

Anyone interested in the POS Olympus E-510 (really great price right now) and equipment I have... the camera is cheaper than the rest of the equipment will be feel free to email me.

Here is the list of what I have:
Olympus E-510, 14-42mm & 40-150mm Kit Lens ($200 + S&H)
Comes with charger, cables, 3 batteries, CD, UV Filters and KOTO Bag
Bogen Tripod ($25)
Several Manfrotto Heads ($30 each)
48" 5 in 1 Reflector ($20)
There is more, I just need to figure what else there is that is legally mine to sell... I will update tomorrow.

Even though I am no longer a photographer, I can't quit the photo group I am leading though... They need me, no they need the stability, for the time being... If you live in Salem Oregon and are interrested.... It is the Salem Digital Photo Group... you can find me as I will be the only one at the meetings and group events with the Point and Shoot. :)

1 comment:

Myrna Curzon said...

I feel the need to mourn with you!