Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Floral Parade And Venting



This photo was taken at the local public garden on a late spring afternoon. It was taken using a Kodak 800 series digital camera.

Posting personal things in this forum is usually not my style, but today I am a little frustrated with several things going on over the last few weeks.

First, I got my evaluation from my boss the other day and as expected he had nothing but great things to say about me in it. What set me back and frustrated the hell out of me was his boss had nothing nice to say about me except that I don't create a "safe" team environment where others feel they can express their ideas on a given project. His use of the word "safe", especially in quotes, is the same thing as saying I create a hostile work environment... which is not true from my perspective. This comment was directed at my interactions with a person I will call Dilbert, no reference to the comic strip character. These interactions have been rather tense because this guy is a loose canon... and he goes unchecked by management (specifically his boss, who happens to be my boss's boss... see the conflict).

He also had the audacity to say in comment that I am less of an expect in my job than Dilbert is. Comparing my job to Dilbert's is like comparing an architect to a construction worker. Although both are valuable to the task of constructing a building, both perform completely different functions to accomplish the end result.

In the very next sentence my boss's boss claimed to have no idea what my job is with the company. Although his lack knowledge is not my fault, my real point is: How does he believe he has the right to judge me on how I am doing my job when he open admits in my evaluation that he has no idea what my job is?

I am meeting with him, my boss's boss, tomorrow to review his comments. I am going to do the best I can to sit there and listen to him rather than dispute each and every one of his negative comments. Rather I want to try and allow him the time to explain what he meant and put a little context around his degrading comments. This is not going to be easy for me to do because first of all comparing me to Dilbert was really the wrong comparison to make for several reasons that I won't go into and secondly I bust my butt for that place putting in my ten to twelve hour days supporting Dilbert and every screw up he commits and coming home and putting in another three or four just to get my real job done.

Now to top this off, my wife tells me near tears, that I need to make time to be able to go out to Michigan to visit with her Uncle. Now let me explain about her Uncle a little. He is my wife's last living relative.... her mom died, when my wife was twelve, of cancer. Her dad's whereabouts is completely unknown.. possibly prison since she was young. Her grandparents died long ago. This leaves her Uncle.

He is a successful business man and wonderful Uncle-In-Law, although with my wife's family status, he is more of a father-in-law than anything. He has been very supportive of us and has been very giving... something that Kim and I truly appreciate each and every day.

The saddest thing is... My wife's Uncle has a very bad heart. He has had several heart attacks and other health issues relating to this. We do not know if he will last another year or not and I understand my wife's sense of urgency for "us" to go out and visit him. But alas, my employer provides me only two weeks a year vacation. To top that off, I have my daughter's two weeks during the summer and one week during Christmas break. I usually take a week off during the summer, the other week they hang out with my wife, and I take a week off during or after Christmas depending on the visitation schedule.

I have asked my employer for more vacation time... just an extra week... but always get the run around. They have been very generous with pay raises, but when it comes to what I need most... more vacation time... they won't budge.

I tried to explain to my wife that for me to make a trip out to Michigan for a week, I would have to work during the summer visitation with my daughters. She started crying and after several minutes of silence, (I don't know how to cope with anyone that is crying so I just there and wait for them to stop... an issue I have as I don't cry), I said, "This is awkward." She said sorry and turned over to start reading. She then said something like, "You can't tell me what I want to hear, so I will just read."

I got up, said I love you, walked over to the computer and started this post. That was 20 minutes ago. So now that I have this off my chest, I will close this posting and resume normal posts tomorrow... art work only. I just needed to vent a little.

Sorry about that.