Friday, April 30, 2010

Stormy Dream


Stormy Dream, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

It was a stormy morning immediately following the nuptuals. And while many would take this as an omen of things to come, we took as a sign that our lives would be blessed with the beauty of the world.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Wrong End of a Confederate Pistol


Civil War Series 3 of 5, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

The Cheadle Lake reinactment is coming again. Can you believe it has been a year since I took this shot? More fun and from the looks of the weather, maybe a little more sun this year than last.

The battle reinactments are on Saturday and Sunday, May 1st and 2nd. One reinactment is at 11:00 AM and the other is at 3:00 PM. Cheadle is lake is along Highway 20 in Lebanon, Oregon. If you come, be prepared to bring an umbrella in case of rain, long and wide angle lenses, a tripod or monopod, a flash to fill in the darker spots in a tent and a sense of adventure. Fun times can be had by all regardless of weather.... they shoot canons during their reinactment... boom boom! See you there.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Why Photography

I have had, since I was a child, two things that would shape who I am today; what I always considered a drive to create from my imagination and what I others considered an abundance of energy. And although the energy isn’t what it used to be, I have moments where I can get on my wife’s nerves with where I have an insatiable drive to create.

I have five main areas where my creativity has shown promise; music, writing, painting, drawing and photography. Maybe not true talent, but a promise of at least mediocrity and I am happy with that because each of these mediums allows me to create.

MUSIC
By the age of four, I knew ALL of the words to most of the Top 40 hits on the radio and sang them in the car with my mom. One song from then still lingers in my head today, Delta Dawn by Tanya Tucker; “Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? And did I hear you say, he was a-meeting you here today to take you to his mansion in the sky.” I still know the chorus, and can sing it note for note, although my voice is nowhere near what it used to be and I haven’t heard the song for nearly thirty years.

Music has remained a huge influence throughout my life. In high school, I sang in all three of the choirs; Jazz, A Cappella and Concert. I had a wide enough vocal range to sing bass, my natural tones all of the way up to Soprano. I moved from one part of the choir, bass, to another, tenor, alto and soprano to help them out if they were weak during rehearsals. I could, back then, actually sings all four parts of most four part Christmas songs. But when it came to performance time, I was back with the men in the bass section, which still is my favorite section.

I also taught myself to play the piano by ear. I had a few lessons in the sixth grade, four to be exact, and the only thing I learned about piano from those lessons was where Middle C is and how to play the melody to “When the Saint Go Marching”. Beyond that I learned the piano parts for songs like The Rose by Bette Midler (which I played at both my Mom’s wedding and my step-sister’s wedding twelve years later), Open Arms by Journey and Chariots of Fire simply by listening and mimicking what I heard.

My junior year in high school I taught myself music composition theory through experimentation. Because of that creative phase, I have written three musical scores and one complex composition of Swing Low Sweet Chariot which was played on the piano by my former music teacher, so I actually got to hear it. I still don’t know how to read sheet music well enough to read it while playing, but I know it well enough to write music; slowly, but surely.

WRITING
After high school, I joined the Navy. I turned to writing. I was introduced to a role playing game called Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I was a D&D nerd, but to look at me then, you wouldn’t have known it. Shortly after my start in the role playing world I began creating my own worlds and writing my complex storylines for the people I played with. And even though it’s a rather nerdy hobby, it quenched my need to have an imaginative and creative outlet and kept me out of the trouble I would have gotten into if my mind were to be set free on the world.

I took a few writing classes my favorite class was an advanced creative writing class. My teacher, whose name I can’t remember, started the first day off with this phrase; “This is a creative writing class. The objective of this class is to be creative. You will have homework. You have required reading. You will be graded. But you won’t be graded on spelling, grammar, punctuation or anything else that is going to cause you to lose track of the objective of this class. When you turn in your homework, I don’t want to see a polished and finely tuned piece of work. No, I want your shitty first draft. Anything more will result in a lower grade.” I knew that I was going to like this class, and I did.

I have started half a dozen books, some of which I got several drafts into several chapters, some of which are posted within these blog pages. I have never returned to finish them because I was distracted, lost interest or flat out got bored with the process. It is a lot of work to write a single page and even more work to proof read it more than once.

PHOTOGRAPHY
It wasn’t until 2000 that the photography bug landed in my lap. During a trip to Colorado to visit my family, I was introduced to photography by my mom, but was enticed by my dad’s doubt that I would be able to photograph lightning with a standard 35mm camera, it along story for another time. But from that experience, I bought a film SLR and started shooting creatively.

MUSIC
In 2005 my creativity hit second gear. In February, I bought a bass guitar because my future brother-in-law played guitar. I taught myself to play it in a matter of six weeks simply by playing along with him, again my ear alone because I still can’t read sheet music (but I learned how to read tablature). Six weeks after buying my bass, he and I, with my sister and [then-to-be-future-wife] played a show in front of a dozen people which included six a six song set. A few weeks later, we [future bother-in-law and I] played a traditional Swahili song in front of the entire church. This was a song I had never heard and with which I practiced once with him, which was an hour before the performance. A few months later I played bass for another Swahili song with his brothers and friends from Kenya for his wedding: 200 people in attendance.

PHOTOGRAPHY
In the summer of 2005 I bought my first digital camera, a Kodak 5MP z740 point and shoot with 10x zoom and SLR like control over shutter, aperture and ISO, but I didn’t know what those meant. I started, like so many others without technical knowledge, shooting in AUTO mode and capturing my world in digital.

DRAWING/PHOTOGRAPHY
In November of 2005 my wife taught me how to draw. She taught me some fundamentals of drawing in segments, how the various pencils worked and basic shading. I spent nearly a year sketching barns, landscapes and occasional random shapes, patterns and forms.

During this time, I would take photos of various subjects with my digital camera, print the worthy scenes and then recreate the scene with my sketchbook and pencils. I was using multiple mediums to create my art.

PAINTING
In the winter of 2008 my wife took on a project to paint mural of a Noah’s Ark scene for our soon to arrive niece. The mural was initially supposed to be a little square on the wall, but soon my sister said she wanted the whole wall covered. The wall was twelve feet tall, by thirteen feet long and my wife, needless to say, was overwhelmed by the scale and the timeline, a month and half before the baby shower date, which was the deadline and my wife could only paint on her days off, two days a week.

I stepped in and learned rather quickly that I could paint as well. I shouldn’t have too surprised as I painted aircraft when I was in the navy and had a good understanding of blending techniques with an air gun, but painting aircraft is still much different than painting a mural with a brush. I painted a sunset from the top of the ceiling to the water surface, about four feet off the floor that faded from a deep purple down to a yellow at the water surface. My wife and I painted fish, eels, octopi, whales, dolphins, starfish, underwater plants, coral and an ark with a dozen animals. To top it off I painted a full arc rainbow with the words “God’s Promise Will Never Fail” and just about everything you could image that would cover 156 square feet of wall. So I learned I could paint as well.

PHOTOGRAPHY
In 2007 I started taking my camera to work with me because we had these wonderful wetlands that I wanted to photograph and my love of photography took off again and I have never looked back.

So with all of these artist skills in music, drawing, painting, writing and who knows what else might be lingering, why did I chose photography as my primary medium? I would have to say that it is with photography that I get the most satisfaction.

I can see my vision through from beginning to end in a matter of a few hours versus a day for a sketch, or a month for painting or a year or more for writing. I can drive to a location or simply stop on my way to somewhere else, take a series of photographs, take them home later, work through my workflow and have a finished product that brings me delight. This is important for someone that suffers from a mild form of ADHD and as a result gets bored rather quick.

With photography I can move from one subject, style or theme every thirty seconds if I need to. I can focus on things until I get it right and I never get bored. I can’t sketch or paint in rain or under water. I can’t play my bass at the base of the some breaking waves. I can’t write and probably shouldn’t take a photograph in the shower. But I can, and may, take a photograph anywhere.

So… Why photography? I can do it whenever and wherever I want or need to. I am pretty good at it. I am motivated to do it. But most of all, I choose photography because I am a photographer and I love it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Experiment in Processing 2


Experiment in Processing 2, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

Okay... I have come down off the ledge with the help and support of my friends with my photo club and my friend John.

John is selling me his old body for a very fair price and my wife isn't upset about that so YAY! Thanks John for your help with this one. The rest of my friends, you support and insight to the actual impact truly helped to keep me from going deeper than I did.

Experiment in Processing 2


Experiment in Processing 2, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

Okay... I have come down off the ledge with the help and support of my friends with my photo club and my friend John.

John is selling me his old body for a very fair price and my wife isn't upset about that so YAY! Thanks John for your help with this one. The rest of my friends, you support and insight to the actual impact truly helped to keep me from going deeper than I did.

Experiment in Processing 1


Experiment in Processing 1, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

Okay... I have come down off the ledge with the help and support of my friends with my photo club and my friend John.

John is selling me his old body for a very fair price and my wife isn't upset about that so YAY! Thanks John for your help with this one. The rest of my friends, you support and insight to the actual impact truly helped to keep me from going deeper than I did.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Quit!


I Quit!, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

I have decided, with the help of my wife, to give up on photography. I have been struggling for the last couple of years to gain some momentum and actually start making money with this so called hobby. But alas it does take money to make money and I don't have the money to invest.

I don't have a huge ego, but I do know that some of my work could be sold as fine art, but it isn't meant to be apparently.

As of last winter my business partnership for a Stock Photography business failed... I take a lot of the blame for the failure and rightfully so. After that I decided to focus on my passion, which is fine art photography, but alas I have absolutely no support anywhere moving forward, partially because of the previous failure and because of the need for a more capable camera.

The simple fact is that after two years of trying to earn even a single dollar, I have failed to do so. I have invested several thousands of dollars in hardware, substandard hardware at best and more than 2000 hours of time and energy developing websites, blogs and even some business partnerships.

The end result is, I have sold a few prints to friends and acquaintences, but at they were sold at cost of printing so no profit. Now my wife has no faith that I can make a profit with this business and therefore refuses to invest any more. I can't blame her for feeling this way... there are things that she wants to do as well. She wants to have money for vacations, and other joys in life... but for me this is just a lack of vision... she can't see what I see and have failed time and again to show her the vision because I can't clearly communicate it, even though I can see it.

Add to all of this that my camera took a fall on a tripod while I was teaching an HDR workshop, and now my camera has several issues (a cracked body near the hot shoe, no flash (attached or external) and the focus really doesn't even work at all as it is always soft.

I am frustrated with my Olympus POS (Piece Of Shit), it has always had soft focus, but now with the additional problems from the fall and after the fall it is all but useless. I am now looking at needing to get into a Pro Level body (Canon 7D), but alas my wife has made it crystal clear that I won't be buying another camera for a long time, if ever. Now while it is commonly said that it is not the camera, but the photographer that makes the image, the pro-level body gives me the tools (advanced ISO, advanced shutter speed, sharp focus, etc) I need to be able to take the photos that I know I can.

Since my continued work requires me to acquire a new and my wife refuses to invest any more in a business proposition that has yet to yield any monetary returns and she believes will not , I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. So I need to give up my dream, no my achievable dream otherwise it could cause a huge rift in my marriage.

This business thing has always been sore spot between my wife and I and probably always will be... so it is time....

It is time to pack what working equipment up I have, sell it for what I can get for it and stop any further fruitless dreaming and throw in the towel.

This is not a pity party, although, I know it sounds like it, but rather I am venting the realism that this is simply another addition to the list of failures I have accumulated over the years. I am forty years old and am a failed photographer, artist and crushed human being right now.

Anyone interested in the POS Olympus E-510 (really great price right now) and equipment I have... the camera is cheaper than the rest of the equipment will be feel free to email me.

Here is the list of what I have:
Olympus E-510, 14-42mm & 40-150mm Kit Lens ($200 + S&H)
Comes with charger, cables, 3 batteries, CD, UV Filters and KOTO Bag
Bogen Tripod ($25)
Several Manfrotto Heads ($30 each)
48" 5 in 1 Reflector ($20)
There is more, I just need to figure what else there is that is legally mine to sell... I will update tomorrow.

Even though I am no longer a photographer, I can't quit the photo group I am leading though... They need me, no they need the stability, for the time being... If you live in Salem Oregon and are interrested.... It is the Salem Digital Photo Group... you can find me as I will be the only one at the meetings and group events with the Point and Shoot. :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Tulip


Tulip, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

A lone tulip on a stormy morning. The inspiration brought out by the challenge of the cold, windy, winter-like storm front that pounded us in the morning.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Untitled


Untitled, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.

Nothing more to say today.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Lose Focus



Lose Focus, originally uploaded by MonkeyPaw2u.
Sometimes, when you lose focus you can stop to appreciate the beauty of the moment.