Sunday, August 22, 2010

Twisted Perspective

Don't get me wrong here and please don't jump to conclusions about this opening statement. If all kids were this quite and well-behaved, wouldn't the world be a better place?

I know that these are statues of children; I was there when I took this photograph.. oddly enough with my own two kids. Even more odd, my own kids were the reason behind this post.

See kids these days, watching their spongebob and fairly odd parents don't know how to have a good time without screaming, telling and causing all sorts of ruckus. I don't think I was ever like that, but kids today do not understand, scratch that, they completely fail to comprehend the joys of silence. I mean even as I type this, I am wearing headphone without any sound coming through them... don't ask... I am an odd duck at times.

Kids these days, especially other people's undisciplined kids, make me wish that I had the powers mythical Medusa. One brief stare and the kids would turn to stone. I sort of have that effect on kids already. I mean my size and demeanor alone can make most adults, that do not know me, move away cautiously so their kids are almost three times more likely to do the same.

I like kids. I love the way their minds work. One time, my daughter was home with me, just the two of us, and our 13" Plecostomus, a sucker fish in aquariums, died. So my daughter asked me the oddest question while I was getting Henry to the net.

"Daddy?" she asked.

"What kiddo?" I responded.

"What is wrong with Henry?" she asked.

"Henry died kiddo," I responded.

"Daddy?" she asked again.

"Yes?" I responded in the form of a question.

"Does Henry need a new battery?" she asked.

I simply laughed and let her know that Henry doesn't take a battery.

See at the age of three, she was used to the batteries in her toys dying as she played with them. And at three years old she assumed everything took a battery, even fish.

Most of the time though kids just give me headaches, but when they aren't, they are making me laugh... So maybe instead of making all kids statues that can be enjoyed all of the time, I just need all kids to be stand up comics.

The world be a better place if kids were stand up comics and is definitely a better option that having irreversible Medusa powers for dealing with kids.

Although Medusa power would be great for silencing that annoying co-worker. Hmmm... I think I need to work on honing that skills now.